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[title] => Kako su koćari ‘napali‘ podmornicu Jugoslavenske ratne mornarice: ‘Drugovi, jeste li vi bre poludeli?!‘
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Ka i svako jutro, stari Dragan po običaju gre na peškariju, vidit ima li šta ribe. Isprid prvega banka trevi Ivana, starega prijatelja, isto penšjunata.
- E, Ivane, kako zdravje, nisan te odavna vidija.
- E, dok nan je šjor Zlatko Ivulić bi živ, ni mi bila potriba ovod dolazit, čin bi on ribi pogleda uoči, javija bi se na radijo.
- Jemaš prav, šjor Ivulić je bi pravi - urar za ribe.
- A šta se tebi, ka iskusnome ribaru, pari od ove ponude?
- Pa ni loše, jema za svakoga. Samo više ti ni ja nisan na brod, odavna san otiša u penšjun.
- Jeli, nisan zna. A ti si ono radija na koćaricu? To je jedan lipi i siguran brod.
- Je, kad ga gledaš sa rive. Ali teška ti je to fatura moj čovik, bit uvik na koći, liti i zimi, i po bonaci i po grubome vrimenu, nemoš birat.
- Kako vi uopće vatate ribu. Neće bit na udicu?
- Ma koju udicu, ovod se vata naveliko. Iza koćarice ti vučemo posebnu mrižu za povlačenje, to se baš i zove koća, mriža konusnoga oblika, naprid jema dva produžena ka krila, a na kraju sve zatvoreno vrićom. Tu mrižu vučemo brodon po dnu, pari ka da strugamo dno. Nemore ništa pobić, ne boj se...
- Govoridu judi da tamo di koća projde, trava ne reste, da se uništi i flora i fauna...
- Priroda i more ti to brzo refundiradu... Nemoremo mi toko uvatit koliko more more dat ribe...
- Onda van je lako, samo potižete mrižu i ona sama kupi ribu. A vi se gori lipo sunčate...
- Ma kakvi, uvik jema posla. Vaja upravljat brodon, nać pozicjun i poštu, triba mrižu spustit u more, posli je dizat, pa izvadit ribu na kuvertu, pribirat ribu... I tako dva puta nadan, liti i po tri puta. I sve se to radi golin rukam, zimi ti se smrznu prsti. Da ne spominjen kad se mriža raspara, moraš je odma krpit.
- Isto je to lipo, bit na čistu ariju, plovit po plavome Jadranu, papat ribice...
- Nemoj mi ništa govorit, jedan put smo s koćon zamalo nastradali, pri skoro trideset godišć. Bili smo tamo između Brača i Fara, dvi milje o'kraja, dubina priko 60 metri, nima okolo ni pasa. Pravi teren o'ribe. Učinili smo prvu kaladu, surgali ti mi lipo mriže potezače i kad je sve silo na svoje misto, mi pomalo počeli vuč mrižu. A ono – zapelo! Odjedanput nas poteglo nazad, mriža se zategla, nijedan od nas ni osta nanoge! Ništo smo zagančali, zapela mriža, nemoš naprid, motor potiže, ma za ludu. Oma san motore stavija u rikverc, pri nego se potopimo...
- A da niste zapeli za koju podvodnu siku! Oli se zadili za koji potopljeni brod?
- Ma koju siku, koji brod, na ti smo požicjun već bar sto puti potizali mriže, sve lišo. Tot ti nima ni podmorski kabeli, ni struje ni vode, sve libero.
- Asti, a da ni koji kit zaluta na Jadran?
- Ma lako se tebi sad zaje-frkavat. Molaj škerce, parilo je da smo gotovi, koća se nakrivila, krma potonila umore, ulazi nan more u brod.
- Ajme, to pari ka u onome filmu...
- Je, samo je ovo bija film uživo! Skoro smo umrli o'straja.
---
---
- I? Šta je onda bilo? Vidin još si živ!
- Kad su se mriže smirile i krma došla na svoje misto, mi stali i gledamo šta učinit. Iskidat konope i pustit mriže, nima druge. A onda, iza nas počelo vrit more, mi gledamo u straju... Kad, iz mora izviri jedna cijev, jedan ka - periskop! Prvo se ti periskop okriće livo-desno, a onda se uperi u nas i počne vikat:
- Pa dobro drugari, jeste li vi to napali podmornicu Jugoslavenske ratne mornarice? Jeste li vi bre poludeli!
Mi stali ka incukani, gledamo jedan drugoga, gledamo jeli bliže Brač oli Far, daleko su za plivat oba dva... Vidimo okolo periskopa more ka da vrije, izlazi zrak pod tlakon. I onda pomalo izmora izroni cilo nadgrađe, a vidimo šoto i cilu podmornicu, modre boje, dužine priko 50 metri! Pari ka morsko čudovište iz štorije Žil Verna. A onda se na vrju otvori abain, niki ka krovni prozor i pojavi se jedan u uniformu, sa šapkon naglavu i zvučnikon u ruci.
- Uplašili se junaci, a?
- A skužajte šjor oficir, nismo vas vidili... pravdan se ja, bez zvučnika. Nismo mi to namjerno...
- Znam drugovi, naša je falinga, pokvario nam se PEL pa vas nismo čuli.
- Koji PEL? Ni mi nimamo PEL.
- Pa to vam je elektronički lokator zvuka, pokvario ga neki mangup. Inače mi vas čujemo kad god ste nam blizo. To vas mi čuvamo, odozdo... jelda? Nego, pregledajte vi lepo da li se pokidala neka mreža, pa da stavimo u zapisnik, ako treba neko obeštećenje...
- Ne triba, fala van lipa. Samo, mi bi van znate tribali poć ča, moramo još jedan put surgat mrižu. Ovi put nećemo je itnit priko vas... nasmijen se i ja.
- Onda dobro momci. Nego ako niste ništa ulovili za prehranu, mi imamo celo skladište ribljih konzervi, pa vam možemo dati po kutiju - dve...
- Fala, ne triba, ali isto ka da jeste...
- I tako mi otkačili mrižu od njijove čelik-čelo sajle, pa biž ća tuta forca put Bola. Tek onda smo surgali sidro, odanili, i počeli spremat obid.
- Bar ste se naili friške ribe...
- To je, gradele, ulje i sol su uvik spremni, ali tek kad se završidu posli na brodu.
- A zašto se onda reće - u ribara mokre gaće, za večeru nezna šta će...
- Ka'da je lako izabrat koju ćeš ribu pofrigat…
- A šta se najviše vatalo?
- Škampe i kozice, koji put mole i gire, ma sve pridnene beštije.
- Onda je to ipak lipi posal, biznis...
- Je, a znaš koliko puti izvučemo samo - škovace. Čoviče, nemo'š virovat šta svit sve baca sa brodi umore. Mi smo ti onako usput i morski škovacini.
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Edo Šegvić
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Ka i svako jutro, stari Dragan po običaju gre na peškariju, vidit ima li šta ribe. Isprid prvega banka trevi Ivana, starega prijatelja, isto penšjunata.
- E, Ivane, kako zdravje, nisan te odavna vidija.
- E, dok nan je šjor Zlatko Ivulić bi živ, ni mi bila potriba ovod dolazit, čin bi on ribi pogleda uoči, javija bi se na radijo.
- Jemaš prav, šjor Ivulić je bi pravi - urar za ribe.
- A šta se tebi, ka iskusnome ribaru, pari od ove ponude?
- Pa ni loše, jema za svakoga. Samo više ti ni ja nisan na brod, odavna san otiša u penšjun.
- Jeli, nisan zna. A ti si ono radija na koćaricu? To je jedan lipi i siguran brod.
- Je, kad ga gledaš sa rive. Ali teška ti je to fatura moj čovik, bit uvik na koći, liti i zimi, i po bonaci i po grubome vrimenu, nemoš birat.
- Kako vi uopće vatate ribu. Neće bit na udicu?
- Ma koju udicu, ovod se vata naveliko. Iza koćarice ti vučemo posebnu mrižu za povlačenje, to se baš i zove koća, mriža konusnoga oblika, naprid jema dva produžena ka krila, a na kraju sve zatvoreno vrićom. Tu mrižu vučemo brodon po dnu, pari ka da strugamo dno. Nemore ništa pobić, ne boj se...
- Govoridu judi da tamo di koća projde, trava ne reste, da se uništi i flora i fauna...
- Priroda i more ti to brzo refundiradu... Nemoremo mi toko uvatit koliko more more dat ribe...
- Onda van je lako, samo potižete mrižu i ona sama kupi ribu. A vi se gori lipo sunčate...
- Ma kakvi, uvik jema posla. Vaja upravljat brodon, nać pozicjun i poštu, triba mrižu spustit u more, posli je dizat, pa izvadit ribu na kuvertu, pribirat ribu... I tako dva puta nadan, liti i po tri puta. I sve se to radi golin rukam, zimi ti se smrznu prsti. Da ne spominjen kad se mriža raspara, moraš je odma krpit.
- Isto je to lipo, bit na čistu ariju, plovit po plavome Jadranu, papat ribice...
- Nemoj mi ništa govorit, jedan put smo s koćon zamalo nastradali, pri skoro trideset godišć. Bili smo tamo između Brača i Fara, dvi milje o'kraja, dubina priko 60 metri, nima okolo ni pasa. Pravi teren o'ribe. Učinili smo prvu kaladu, surgali ti mi lipo mriže potezače i kad je sve silo na svoje misto, mi pomalo počeli vuč mrižu. A ono – zapelo! Odjedanput nas poteglo nazad, mriža se zategla, nijedan od nas ni osta nanoge! Ništo smo zagančali, zapela mriža, nemoš naprid, motor potiže, ma za ludu. Oma san motore stavija u rikverc, pri nego se potopimo...
- A da niste zapeli za koju podvodnu siku! Oli se zadili za koji potopljeni brod?
- Ma koju siku, koji brod, na ti smo požicjun već bar sto puti potizali mriže, sve lišo. Tot ti nima ni podmorski kabeli, ni struje ni vode, sve libero.
- Asti, a da ni koji kit zaluta na Jadran?
- Ma lako se tebi sad zaje-frkavat. Molaj škerce, parilo je da smo gotovi, koća se nakrivila, krma potonila umore, ulazi nan more u brod.
- Ajme, to pari ka u onome filmu...
- Je, samo je ovo bija film uživo! Skoro smo umrli o'straja.
---
---
- I? Šta je onda bilo? Vidin još si živ!
- Kad su se mriže smirile i krma došla na svoje misto, mi stali i gledamo šta učinit. Iskidat konope i pustit mriže, nima druge. A onda, iza nas počelo vrit more, mi gledamo u straju... Kad, iz mora izviri jedna cijev, jedan ka - periskop! Prvo se ti periskop okriće livo-desno, a onda se uperi u nas i počne vikat:
- Pa dobro drugari, jeste li vi to napali podmornicu Jugoslavenske ratne mornarice? Jeste li vi bre poludeli!
Mi stali ka incukani, gledamo jedan drugoga, gledamo jeli bliže Brač oli Far, daleko su za plivat oba dva... Vidimo okolo periskopa more ka da vrije, izlazi zrak pod tlakon. I onda pomalo izmora izroni cilo nadgrađe, a vidimo šoto i cilu podmornicu, modre boje, dužine priko 50 metri! Pari ka morsko čudovište iz štorije Žil Verna. A onda se na vrju otvori abain, niki ka krovni prozor i pojavi se jedan u uniformu, sa šapkon naglavu i zvučnikon u ruci.
- Uplašili se junaci, a?
- A skužajte šjor oficir, nismo vas vidili... pravdan se ja, bez zvučnika. Nismo mi to namjerno...
- Znam drugovi, naša je falinga, pokvario nam se PEL pa vas nismo čuli.
- Koji PEL? Ni mi nimamo PEL.
- Pa to vam je elektronički lokator zvuka, pokvario ga neki mangup. Inače mi vas čujemo kad god ste nam blizo. To vas mi čuvamo, odozdo... jelda? Nego, pregledajte vi lepo da li se pokidala neka mreža, pa da stavimo u zapisnik, ako treba neko obeštećenje...
- Ne triba, fala van lipa. Samo, mi bi van znate tribali poć ča, moramo još jedan put surgat mrižu. Ovi put nećemo je itnit priko vas... nasmijen se i ja.
- Onda dobro momci. Nego ako niste ništa ulovili za prehranu, mi imamo celo skladište ribljih konzervi, pa vam možemo dati po kutiju - dve...
- Fala, ne triba, ali isto ka da jeste...
- I tako mi otkačili mrižu od njijove čelik-čelo sajle, pa biž ća tuta forca put Bola. Tek onda smo surgali sidro, odanili, i počeli spremat obid.
- Bar ste se naili friške ribe...
- To je, gradele, ulje i sol su uvik spremni, ali tek kad se završidu posli na brodu.
- A zašto se onda reće - u ribara mokre gaće, za večeru nezna šta će...
- Ka'da je lako izabrat koju ćeš ribu pofrigat…
- A šta se najviše vatalo?
- Škampe i kozice, koji put mole i gire, ma sve pridnene beštije.
- Onda je to ipak lipi posal, biznis...
- Je, a znaš koliko puti izvučemo samo - škovace. Čoviče, nemo'š virovat šta svit sve baca sa brodi umore. Mi smo ti onako usput i morski škovacini.
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12. svibanj 2024 02:03
